So.

I'm growing frustrated with myself.

I have two passions in life: drawing, and writing. There is nothing I enjoy more than doing either of those, and nothing else I would like to spend my life doing.

And I've come to the startling realization that...I'm just not up to par. I create mediocre art, and my writing is mediocre at best as well.

It's just very...disheartening to discover this about myself. I've always believed myself to be very talented with art; in my classes, I always have excelled beyond what everyone around me is doing. However, on my own, I can't create what it is I want to. I get images in my head, ideas I need to create, visually, and I choke. I can't do it.

The same goes for writing. I see scenes play out, just like I'm watching a movie, but as soon as I start writing it, it comes out too stiff, and too forced.

I understand that the only way to get better is to just keep at it, to never give up and practice, to always be drawing and writing. I'm just frustrated.

I'm not looking for a pity party. I'm just looking to vent.

I wish I could, just once, create what it is that I picture.